This is a bit of a maony, poor little me post so feel free to move along without reading!!! However, there is a point to it (I think!)
Self-love and body positivity are everywhere at the moment. I think it's brilliant that influencers are being more open about their "flaws" and people are starting to present more of their "real" self. Women being encouraged to love themselves is amazing! But the truth is I don't love myself and I am not body positive. In fact at the moment, I'm in a real slump.
I have hardly exercised in the past few months but continued to eat the same and therefore have put on a few pounds - that's not rocket science! As I've said before, I exercise for many reasons other than weight loss and that has just been a side effect of my sometimes busy workout schedule which some weeks saw me exercising 5/6 times a week.
I wish I could say "who cares" that I've gained some weight. But at the moment, I really care.
A month or so ago someone asked me how my baby bump was - as in, yes, genuinely thought I was pregnant. Anyone I've said this to has either laughed (thanks a bunch for thinking this confidence crushing blow is a joke!) or has asked if I'm serious and that I have nothing to worry about (genuinely thanks, but how can I believe you when the person in question then tried to play he gotten me confused with someone who is pregnant - 7 months pregnant!)
"Get over it, it's just one comment" I hear you say. Please, I beg you, tell me how!
The problem is it's not just this comment - the comment came at a time when I was already feeling very negative about my body. My clothes were getting to the point of being too small. Now I know no-one knows the size on the label and that in itself wasn't the issue - I don't want to have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe because I can't fit into my clothes!
I'd say part of the problem is obviously the weight gain (a stone since this time last year, which may not seem much but I'm only 5"1'). But the other part is that I don't feel strong anymore. I particularly love parkour because the skills it builds on make me feel, well, like a badass! And at the moment I feel like I've lost all my strength and the little bit of definition I did have!
In all honesty I know deep down that I'm not "fat". (Wait, hold on, isn't that what you've just been whinging on about?!) If I was "fat", the guy in question wouldn't have thought I was pregnant, he'd have just thought I was fat!
My "problem" area has always been my tummy and this is not the first time I've been asked if I was pregnant, but it was the first time in a few years so definitely came as a blow! I recently heard my body type described as an apple - I don't think I've ever heard that phrase before but it's so true! The problem is that I'm not in proportion - small arms, legs and butt, and a bigger tummy.
I've been "trying" to lose some weight - but by trying I mean I eat well for a couple of days and then go "bugger it, what's the point"! And actually I'm not sure there is much point me losing weight without working on the bigger picture.
A couple of years ago, when I was at my smallest, whilst I knew I was my smallest I'm not sure I viewed my body any differently. Last year when I was probably my strongest, I loved my arms and the definition I had, but I was still conscious of my belly.
So the point is that actually I need to jump on this body positivity band wagon and actually learn to embrace that I am an apple and will probably always be an apple!
Self-love and body positivity are everywhere at the moment. I think it's brilliant that influencers are being more open about their "flaws" and people are starting to present more of their "real" self. Women being encouraged to love themselves is amazing! But the truth is I don't love myself and I am not body positive. In fact at the moment, I'm in a real slump.
I have hardly exercised in the past few months but continued to eat the same and therefore have put on a few pounds - that's not rocket science! As I've said before, I exercise for many reasons other than weight loss and that has just been a side effect of my sometimes busy workout schedule which some weeks saw me exercising 5/6 times a week.
I wish I could say "who cares" that I've gained some weight. But at the moment, I really care.
A month or so ago someone asked me how my baby bump was - as in, yes, genuinely thought I was pregnant. Anyone I've said this to has either laughed (thanks a bunch for thinking this confidence crushing blow is a joke!) or has asked if I'm serious and that I have nothing to worry about (genuinely thanks, but how can I believe you when the person in question then tried to play he gotten me confused with someone who is pregnant - 7 months pregnant!)
"Get over it, it's just one comment" I hear you say. Please, I beg you, tell me how!
The problem is it's not just this comment - the comment came at a time when I was already feeling very negative about my body. My clothes were getting to the point of being too small. Now I know no-one knows the size on the label and that in itself wasn't the issue - I don't want to have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe because I can't fit into my clothes!
I'd say part of the problem is obviously the weight gain (a stone since this time last year, which may not seem much but I'm only 5"1'). But the other part is that I don't feel strong anymore. I particularly love parkour because the skills it builds on make me feel, well, like a badass! And at the moment I feel like I've lost all my strength and the little bit of definition I did have!
In all honesty I know deep down that I'm not "fat". (Wait, hold on, isn't that what you've just been whinging on about?!) If I was "fat", the guy in question wouldn't have thought I was pregnant, he'd have just thought I was fat!
My "problem" area has always been my tummy and this is not the first time I've been asked if I was pregnant, but it was the first time in a few years so definitely came as a blow! I recently heard my body type described as an apple - I don't think I've ever heard that phrase before but it's so true! The problem is that I'm not in proportion - small arms, legs and butt, and a bigger tummy.
I've been "trying" to lose some weight - but by trying I mean I eat well for a couple of days and then go "bugger it, what's the point"! And actually I'm not sure there is much point me losing weight without working on the bigger picture.
A couple of years ago, when I was at my smallest, whilst I knew I was my smallest I'm not sure I viewed my body any differently. Last year when I was probably my strongest, I loved my arms and the definition I had, but I was still conscious of my belly.
So the point is that actually I need to jump on this body positivity band wagon and actually learn to embrace that I am an apple and will probably always be an apple!
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